What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops