What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

What hurts like hell? HELL

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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