How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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