Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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