Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops