learn. advance!

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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