- Anti Joke

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

Loperson

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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