A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

Rylan Clark

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

Tim likes girls

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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