Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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