Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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like if your cool

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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My mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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