Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

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NEVER

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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