what's the difference between a duck?

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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boner

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops