How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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