Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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so...um, yeah

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Womens rights.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops