Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

one of the idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops