Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops