How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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penis

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Nickleback.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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