Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

say it ten times fast: oh

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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