A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

Stop procrastinating.

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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