Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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