what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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