A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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