Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Gus's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops