Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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non poop

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Poop.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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I was once a hamster.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops