What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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Smeg...

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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