Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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