- Anti Joke

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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