Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Walnut

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops