Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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Get on your knees Ho

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops