Obama

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops