What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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