A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

Bob Saget

hello anomonous

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

yo mama is fat shes fat

Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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