Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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My name is Harry.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................00............................................................................................................................................I..........................................................................................................................................._____....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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I work at jcpenny

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops