Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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The Detroit Lions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops