what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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A train poops its pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops