What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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Morning wood.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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I pooped.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops