What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wait what? I did not type that!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Autism speaks but not really

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops