Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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this is not a drill.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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