How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Here's another:

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops