- Anti Joke

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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