A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

"knock knock" "Come in"

Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

Your mom is so fat...

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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