Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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