knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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