What did the hungry man do? He ate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The joke below is absolute shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops