What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Neither does he.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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