Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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David Silberberg is gay

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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purple pickles

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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