Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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