Once upon a cross

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +29

TIMMAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops