what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

7

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

thumb_up thumb_down -4

matty russel are you on here

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops