How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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