Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops