Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Nippies

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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